Take My Hand?
by CeceliaStar
Summary: "Just take my hand when you're feeling numb/You take my bread and I take your crumbs/But I don't mind/Cause I never wanna be your yesterday" Nalu. College AU.


**Ever heard the song "Crumbs" by Belaganas? It came on while I was writing this and it was kind of perfect. One of the lines is: "Just take my hand when you're feeling numb/You take my bread and I take your crumbs/But I don't mind/Cause I never wanna be your yesterday" and it's PERFECT for this story.**

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The soft brush of cold air touched Lucy's cheek as she stared across the campus at the couple. It was cold, but not cold enough to warrant too thick a jacket. The couple, despite this, cuddled together as if the air were frigid, leaning against a tree. The guy held her between his legs, wrapping her in his jacket. Lucy was too far to hear but she could see them whispering to each other and smiling brightly.

Lucy had sighed three times now. She didn't mean to. She'd meant to keep those sighs tucked into her heart but they'd escaped to her chagrin.

She and Natsu sat at a table on their college campus, studying for exams. Natsu had been rambling about his and Gray's project for a separate class when her eyes caught on the couple. Natsu must have gone back to his studying material because he didn't comment when Lucy's eyes caught on the couple and stayed there.

The couple's intertwined hands energetically moved as they talked to each other.

Lucy's hand felt suddenly very empty and very lonesome. She felt as if she'd been holding a hand her entire life and it'd suddenly been ripped from her grip. She should stop staring – it's creepy. But she couldn't help it. She felt so _envious_.

Lucy usually felt fine alone. She'd gone on a few dates that hadn't worked out but that was okay. She had enough confidence and self-love to not mind being alone. But just because she was comfortable being by herself didn't mean she doesn't occasionally long for that kind of physical closeness.

She just wanted to hold someone's hand.

If she voiced these feelings to Natsu he'd just think she was weird and claim she wasn't alone, she had him. And that was true. Natsu was her best friend and he was very physical with his affection, but it was always platonic.

Friendship and romance filled two different gaps and just because she treasured the friendship equally to the other, that didn't mean that she doesn't notice the empty romance gap.

Lucy's eyes drifted from the giggling couple to Natsu. As she'd predicted, he'd turned back to his notebook. He wasn't one for studying except the night before the exam. It drove her crazy but the process worked for him.

Before she knew what she was doing her hand moved across the table and laid palm-up on the table next to his book. Lucy wasn't thinking through her actions beyond the _need _and the _longing_ that refused to be ignored in her chest.

Natsu glanced at her hand and frowned before turning to look up at her.

"Lucy?" he asked, mildly confused.

"Would you-," she started, and then stopped, clearing her throat. Her voice was shaking. Why did she want to cry so bad? "Will you hold my hand?"

A pause. A long pause filled with a frantically beating heart and a confused stare. She began to draw her hand back but stopping her, Natsu's hand shot out and grabbed hers. She jumped in surprise at the sudden warmth that enveloped her hand.

"Cold?" he murmured, eyes softening just a bit.

Lucy nodded furiously before looking back down at her books, suddenly feeling on the verge of tears. His hand was so warm and suddenly that gaping gap was filled. Her cheeks felt just a bit too warm.

"Lucy, what's wrong?" Natsu asked, leaning forward.

But she couldn't look at him. She'd asked for his hand and he'd offered it immediately, before even knowing why.

Before she'd wanted to be the couple laying against the tree but now all she wanted was to stay put and keep holding Natsu's hand. Lucy should let go, but she couldn't.

"Luce?"

Lucy finally looked up. His eyes were so concerned and worried so she squeezed his hand in reassurance as her heart squeezed itself.

"Sorry," Lucy whispered, forcing herself to smile. "Just feeling a bit weird."

He nodded uncertainly and squeezed her hand in return.

"Want to go home?"

"Yeah, probably."

They began packing up their things; Natsu let go of her hand. It shouldn't have caused her heart to clench the way it did, but it did. She cast one last look back at the happy couple while she put on her backpack. They were still leaning against each other, but they'd both closed their eyes and seemed to be taking a nap with each other.

Lucy quickly turned away and began walking towards the busses, Natsu joining her. And then he took her hand again.

He didn't let go. Not for the walk to the bus stop, or the bus ride home, or when they arrived at her apartment. He walked in with her and didn't even let go when she fumbled for her keys. Lucy couldn't bring herself to ask why he was still holding her hand, afraid to break the spell.

When they walked into her apartment he pulled her down onto the couch next to him.

They sat there in silence until finally, Lucy couldn't take it.

"Natsu?" She turned to look at him, left hand still clasped in his. "You're still holding my hand."

"Did you want me to let go?" he asked, frowning slightly. "You didn't say anything."

"No, I-" Lucy froze. She'd nearly said she doesn't want him to let go. Blushing, she pulled her hand from his. "Thank you."

A wide and bottomless chasm opened in her chest at the absence of his hand. It felt like her life force had been ripped from her. What was going on with her? She was sure she wouldn't have felt this way about Natsu a week ago. Was she on her period? Why was she suddenly so lonely? So longing for a relationship? So longing for… Natsu?

Lucy could feel Natsu's continued to stare and frown but she couldn't look up. All she could do was stare at her empty hand. Until it wasn't empty.

Natsu gently reached out and took it in his again.

"We'll go at your pace," Natsu murmured gently. So gently she almost didn't hear it. "However fast or slow you want to go."

Lucy blinked and looked up at him. His face was soft and full of something that was just too much for her. She had to look down again. God, why was she so afraid? This was Natsu. She could face whatever, as long as they were together. But something about his face was so honest and open. She had a feeling that he'd let her read him like a book, everything, footnotes and all, and she just wasn't ready for that yet.

But his hand was warm and her erratic heart calmed to a steady beat.

"My pace?" she whispered, still only staring at his large hand that clasped hers. Lucy didn't see it but she felt him nod. "Okay." She squeezed his hand.

"Movie?" he asked. Smiling, she finally looked at him and nodded.

They didn't let go of each other the entire night.

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**Comments, thoughts, reviews? Yes, no, maybe so?**

**Holidays suck and family sucks and I had feelings so I thought well. I'll write it out. Idk. I was playing on the fact that it seemed like Natsu was going to tell Lucy his feelings for her in the manga but she wasn't ready for it. Idk sometimes feelings are too strong and just because they mean the world to you doesn't mean you're ready to confront and it's beautiful having someone who cares so much they understand and are willing to go at your own pace. **


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